These are my funny sex jokes. Don’t worry, the following funny sex works should be SFW (Safe For Work). I say should be because these days you never know what some people may find offensive. That being the case you use these jokes at work at your own risk. 😎
Funny Sex Jokes Sunday Morning Sex
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
“Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. “Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.” She paused to wipe away a tear and continued, “He’d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn’t come along.”
If you do not laugh at this, then you are seriously depressed, make a doctor’s appointment.
I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling.
How Many Types Of Boobs
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”
The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them, and they make you cry.”
The father’s explanation infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”
The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”
“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks.
“Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”
Here’s More Interesting Topics For You
You should check out my YouTube Channel‘s Laughaholics Playlist which is crammed packed full of funny jokes. There, you will find my latest History Of Boobs video. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel.
Check out my other Little Johnny Jokes.